The beginner's guide to

9 Avoidance Strategies that Create a False Sense of Recovery

Are you avoiding? Let’s look at common avoidance techniques that can impede genuine healing and perpetuate a false sense of well-being in the aftermath of trauma. From burying emotions to numbing through substances, we’ll delve into these strategies, shedding light on their short-term relief and long-term consequences.

1. Lashing out to keep people out and mask feelings of vulnerability or fear

When people feel vulnerable or scared, sometimes they lash out as a way to keep others at arm’s length. It’s like putting up a tough front to protect themselves. By getting angry or hostile, they’re trying to avoid feeling exposed or afraid. But, while it might seem like a quick fix, lashing out can actually push people away and make it harder to get the support they need. It’s like building walls instead of bridges. Learning to deal with those feelings in a healthier way can help build stronger connections and make life a bit smoother.

2. Self-harming to give a false sense of control

When someone has experienced trauma, they may struggle to process their emotions or find healthy outlets for their pain. Self-harm, such as cutting, burning, or other forms of self-injury, can provide a temporary release from emotional pain or numbness, allowing individuals to regain a sense of control over their bodies and emotions. It’s like a quick fix to make things feel a bit better, even if just for a moment. But, in the long run, it can make things worse and leave scars, both inside and out. That’s why it’s important to find healthier ways to deal with tough feelings and get support from someone who can help you through it.

3. Self-medicating to numb the pain creates more problems

For some, substances can provide a way to numb painful feelings or dissociate from traumatic memories, allowing someone to temporarily escape the overwhelming reality of their experiences. The altered state of consciousness induced by substances can create a temporary sense of euphoria or relaxation, providing a respite from emotional distress.

Plus, substance use may serve as a way to self-medicate symptoms of trauma-related conditions such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). People may use substances to cope with symptoms such as hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, or sleep disturbances, seeking relief from the distressing effects of trauma on their mental health.

However, while substance abuse may provide temporary relief, it often exacerbates underlying issues and can lead to a range of negative consequences, including addiction, physical health problems, relationship conflicts, and legal issues. Substance use as a coping mechanism can also perpetuate a cycle of avoidance and denial, preventing individuals from addressing the root causes of their trauma and seeking effective treatment.

4. Changing your relationship with food and body image gives a false sense of comfort and control

When all sorts of heavy emotions like shame, guilt, and self-blame are stirred up, sometimes, to try and cope, people turn to food. They change their relationship with food and body image for comfort and control. This might show up as things like strict dieting, binge eating, or purging. It’s like a temporary escape from all the painful stuff swirling around inside, and it can make you feel like you’re in charge, even when everything else feels chaotic. Focusing on food and weight can help distract from the trauma and all the tough feelings that come with it, at least for a little while. But, in the long run, these coping strategies can cause more harm than good, leading to all sorts of physical and mental health issues.

5. Trying not to think about the thing that you can’t stop thinking about makes it even harder to deal with

Cognitive avoidance is when you deliberately avoid thinking about or confronting distressing thoughts, memories, or emotions associated with your trauma. Instead of facing them, you push them away or try to distract yourself. It’s like pretending it’s not there, even though deep down, you know it is. This can include distracting yourself with other activities, minimizing the significance of the trauma, or engaging in denial about its impact. While it might help you feel better in the moment, in the long run, it can make things even harder to deal with. So, it’s important to find healthier ways to cope and face those tough feelings head-on.

6. Changing your routine or avoiding situations continues to reinforce fear and prevents you from fully engaging in life

Avoiding situations or changing your routine to dodge uncomfortable feelings might give temporary relief, but it actually strengthens those fears over time. See, when you keep avoiding stuff that makes you anxious, your brain learns that those things are dangerous and need to be avoided. This can look like avoiding certain places or people, withdrawing from social activities, or refusing to engage in activities that remind you of the traumatic event or provoke anxiety. It’s driven by a desire to minimize discomfort or prevent the re-emergence of traumatic memories or anxiety symptoms.

It’s also teaching your brain to be even more scared of those situations. So, while it might seem like the easy way out, it actually makes things harder in the long run.

7. Disconnecting from your reality delays healing

Dissociation is when someone feels disconnected from their thoughts, feelings, memories, or surroundings. It’s like zoning out or feeling detached from reality. While it’s a natural defense mechanism that helps people cope with overwhelming or traumatic experiences, it can make it harder to process and recover from trauma in the long run. When someone dissociates, they may avoid confronting painful emotions or memories associated with the trauma, which can delay healing and prevent them from fully processing what happened.

8. Ignoring your negative feelings cuts off ALL emotions, even the good ones and interferes with building meaningful relationships

Emotional suppression is when someone consciously tries to hide or ignore their emotions, particularly negative ones, instead of acknowledging and processing them. While it may provide temporary relief from discomfort or pain, emotional suppression can hinder trauma recovery in several ways.

First, suppressing emotions prevents you from fully processing and understanding their feelings about the traumatic event. This can lead to unresolved emotional distress, which may resurface later on and interfere with healing.

Second, emotional suppression can strain relationships and hinder social support. When individuals suppress their emotions, they may struggle to communicate effectively with others about their experiences and needs. This can create barriers to seeking support from friends, family, or therapists, which is essential for trauma recovery.

Third, emotional suppression can contribute to turning to unhealthy coping strategies to numb or escape their emotions, further complicating the recovery process.

9. Worrying about your physical health without a clear medical cause is distressing and distracting from the core issue

Somatic complaints are physical symptoms or sensations that don’t have a clear medical cause but are often linked to psychological or emotional distress. These can include things like headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, or fatigue.

In terms of trauma recovery, somatic complaints can hinder progress in several ways. First, they can serve as a constant reminder of the trauma, keeping it at the forefront of someone’s mind and making it harder to move on. Second, somatic complaints can be distressing and distracting, making it difficult for someone to focus on their recovery efforts or engage in therapy effectively.

This actually can lead to a cycle of distress and avoidance. When someone experiences physical symptoms, they may become anxious or worried about their health, which can exacerbate their emotional distress. This may lead to avoidance behaviors, such as avoiding activities or situations that trigger physical symptoms, further hindering their ability to confront and process their trauma.