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Mississippi Couples Counseling, Divorce Recovery, and Couples Workshops

The Truth About Why Love is So Scary

Learn to Trust Again After Being Hurt

By Dr. Roz

Honestly, I wasn’t planning on dressing up this year for Halloween, but my 15 year old nephew convinced me to.  He’d been planning his costume for the past two months, hoping to win the annual contest at the local college. Me, being the procrastinator I am, stopped at Walmart the day before to snag a befitting style to represent my current 2019 mood: the mermaid.

Mermaids are cute. She loves water but craves to walk on earth.  She seeks balance between the waves of her emotions and being grounded.  She can sing and she loves love.

Okaaaaa, maybe too deep?

Anywho, my nephew is into the gory traditions of Spooky-ween.

Chh. Chh. Chh.

Here comes Jason.  Slow-walking, confidently knowing that he’s gonna get his victim. Everytime.

 

Halloween 2019

Me and my dope Halloween crew.

    Chh. Chh. Chh.

I know you’re saying it out loud, right?? 😂😂😂

Looking through the eyes of a kid, obviously Jason scares the mess out of me.  But as a grown woman, I’m wishing that Jason would realize that everybody he’s killing has nothing to do with those mean kids who accidentally drowned him. Or his mommy issues.

But for years and years to come, here comes Jason. In a Mask. With Chains. Slowly ruining everybody who crosses his path. 

It’s a bit of a sick, twisted love story. Because yes, Jason is coming first for that couple skinny-dipping in the lake. He hates love because he had none…says the therapist lol. 

Perpretrators were once victims. 

I realized most of us know or are a Jason—you or someone you know is “chained” to their past and trying to cover it up with a mask.  Hurting whoever is in your (I mean their) path.  

Because, yes, hurt people hurt people.  

And when you got hurt, you taught yourself that love was scary.  

So how do you free yourself from the wrath of a Jason? By first taking off your mask. 🐸(sips that tea)

The Step-by-Step Method to Love Without Fear & Trust Again

Try the Truth/Untruth Test.

If you don’t know your own truth, you can’t share it with your partner.  You’ll know the truth by how it feels in your belly. I used the truth/untruth test will couples who have trouble expressing their feelings. 

Relax.

Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. 

Think of something that’s not true.

If you love animals, try saying “I hate my dog” and repeat it silently over and over. 

 

Pay Attention to Your Body. 

Do you have any tightness in your body? If so, where? What does it feel like?

 

Tell the Truth.

  1. Go back to step 2 and reverse it. Now tell yourself, silently, “I love my dog”. Repeat it over and over. Assess what that feels like in your body. 

Assess the truth

What does telling a simple truth feel like in your body? It’s true: you’ll know the truth by the way it feels. 

Lead by example. 

When you tell your true feelings, you’re taking off the mask and trusting yourself. The way to trust others is to trust you first. Real definitely recognizes real. 😎

Now, what’s one insight or key takeaway you got from this article? In what area of your life have you not been completely honest with yourself about? And how has it affected your relationships? Leave a comment below and let me know.

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. may be removed.

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Thank you so much for reading and sharing ideas, opinions, and aha’s with a growing community of folks who are committed to making their relationships work.  You are truly appreciated.  

Sending so much love your way,

Dr. Roz

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