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How to Connect as a Couple While Raising a Newborn

Relationship advice to help you maintain a healthy bond as you get through the challenging time of raising a newborn baby together. 


July is dedicated to letting your freedom ring. Freedom from stress, worry, fear, anxiety, toxic relationships, and bad vibes. Catch up on the Freedom Series HereLet’s dive into today’s topic, from guest blogger Emily Graham, who’s sharing ways to free your relationship from the stress of having a newborn baby.


By EMILY GRAHAM

It’s all too easy to start feeling disconnected as the parents of a newborn baby. Sometimes you feel so exhausted you’re just trying to survive the day, and it’s easy to begin feeling as though the relationship is out of balance. With a newborn baby comes unexpected relationship problems. So, read on for advice to help you maintain a healthy bond as you get through this challenging time together. 

““You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

Fill Your Cup First

You’ve probably heard the expression “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” and this is especially true for new moms. Even if your significant other is wonderful about sharing responsibilities, your plate is full. Your body is adjusting, your emotions are adjusting, and it’s easy to get worn down. With that in mind, ensure you get some “me time” on a daily basis. Despite how you might feel, it’s not selfish — it’s self-preservation. Without taking good care of your mind, body, and soul, you can’t be the amazing mom or partner you long to be. 

Carve out some time each day with something just for you. While your newborn baby snoozes or your partner handles feeding and changing diapers, relax. Sip some coffee, watch your favorite show, or read a good book. Let yourself soak in the tub with some soothing bath salts, or do some settling meditation. Whatever makes you feel refreshed, do it!

Reconnect in Bed

Is romance the furthest thing from your mind? For many reasons, new moms can struggle with getting back into the sexual groove. You might be anxious about how you look, how it will feel, or maybe you just aren’t “there” yet emotionally. Kindred Bravely offers a terrific guide to help new moms sort through sex-related concerns and overcome pressures and anxieties. Don’t rush yourself; allow yourself to explore your barriers so you can enjoy love-making again.

Share More Than the Bedroom

In order to maintain your team and avoid unnecessary relationship problems, it’s crucial for both parents to carry part of the workload. Sometimes the hard part for new moms is not getting dad to participate, but allowing him to do it his way. Even if your significant other has a different way of doing things, Family Education points out that different isn’t necessarily wrong, and it’s important for you both to share parenting responsibilities. Trust that if duties aren’t performed precisely the same way by you both, this will encourage your partner to be involved and help you all feel like a family. 

Do a Little Dating

When was the last time you and your significant other went on a date? Dating is a terrific tool to stay connected, keep communication flowing, and perhaps help lead to the rekindling of romantic embers. What’s more, you’re setting a healthy pattern to pursue throughout your relationship. As Learning Liftoff notes, parents who adhere to a pattern of dating not only stay better connected, but they also set a healthy example for their kids. 

If it sounds impossible, bear in mind you don’t even have to leave the house. An evening of snuggling, munching popcorn, and watching a flick can be refreshing. Or, get your favorite takeout, then sit on the porch sipping beer and stargazing. 

Even get out of the house now and then — it’ll do you good! Enlist a relative, close friend, or trustworthy sitter to stay with your bundle of joy for a few hours, and go out together. Eating grown-up food, listening to each other, and focusing on each other can be refreshing. Consider taking in a play or going to a concert to mix things up a little. Allow yourself to enjoy the respite of being out of the house together, doing something just for yourselves as a couple. 

Being a new parent is extraordinarily rewarding, but if you aren’t careful, your relationship with your partner can suffer. Take time for yourself and for each other, feeding your relationship, sharing, and connecting. Staying strong can help you be better parents in the long run. 

A very special thanks to Emily Graham of MightyMoms.net for her amazing relationship advice to help sleep-deprived new moms and dads keep their relationship together. For more mom tips, check her out. 

What’s one insight or key takeaway you got from this article? What’s something you’d like to try differently to connect with your partner so that the stress of a new baby doesn’t hijack your relationship? Leave a comment below and let us know.

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. may be removed.

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Thank you so much for reading and sharing ideas, opinions, and aha’s with a growing community of folks who are committed to making their relationships work.  You are truly appreciated.  

Sending so much love your way,

Dr. Roz

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