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Roslyn Ashford Counseling

Is Stress Causing Relationship Problems?

Here's how to relieve stress in 20 minutes every day.

Learn the step-by-step method to go from being part of your partner’s problem to being their peace. For real, for real.  

By Dr. Roz

Stress is one of those things you have to face head on if you want any kinda relief. One of the most missed opportunities when coping is to actually lay your burden down with the one you love. Most couples believe that talking too much about their issues will make the other person see them differently, create other relationship problems, and eventually kill the relationship vibe.

Because no one wants to actually be dating their “friend”.

But that’s not true at all.

Now believe me, there’s rules to this. Here’s how to relieve stress so that it makes your luvvv juices more potent.  

 

The Step-by-Step Method for Going from Mo’ Relationship Problems After Work to Being Each Other’s Peace  

Find a Spot 

Agree to find a quiet place, free from phones, kids, and other distractions. Where can the two of you go in the house and sit across from each other to take turns talking about what stressed you out today? Maybe its the toilet seat (lid closed) and the side of the tub. Or the back of your Master closet? Maybe even a prayer room?

Pick a Speaker and a Listener. 

Take turns on giving 10 minutes each of undivided attention to speak about the stress of the day. I suggest that each day you pick a different speaker to start the convo than the day before. 

Stick to the Script!

This is Super Important.
Rules for the Speaker: Only talk about the stress that has nothing to do with the relationship.  That’s it.

Listener: Give support using empathy and by remembering whose team you’re on, and don’t try to solve problems. 

How to be a better listener, Effective listening, Listening skills, Questions to ask your significant other
Good listening can build love and trust.

Ask Questions

Whoever’s listening has to sum up what they heard and then simply ask, “Is there anything else? I wanna make sure I get it.”

Things to ask when the speaker doesn’t feel understood. 

  • What’s most upsetting to you about this?
    What’s the worst thing that could happen?
    Is there anything I can do to support you in this?
    What do you need right now?
 

Switch!

Who’s next up to be the Speaker vs. Listener? You got ten minutes to repeat steps 3 & 4.  

That’s It, Now Commit

Make it a habit of having a Stress-Reducing Conversation five days a week for 20 minutes each day. 

What’s one insight or key takeaway you got from this article? What’s stressing you out that you’d love to share with your partner using these steps? Leave a comment below and let me know.

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. may be removed.

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Thank you so much for reading and sharing ideas, opinions, and aha’s with a growing community of folks who are committed to making their relationships work.  You are truly appreciated.  

Sending so much love your way,

Dr. Roz

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Don't go to bed mad and use this step-by-step relationship guide to eliminate 69% of fights and change your love life tonight-even if you’re thinking divorce.